


wait, you could be my best mistake (that I’ve just been dying to make).

by anxiouspunk



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Perry is a literary nerd and you can’t that headcanon away from me, also includes team shenanigans, and it was so hilarious I had to make this, and where laferry are already dating in either, basically I saw one of those incorrect text posts for laferry, just a whole lot of stupid fluff, or after s3 in a universe where they didn’t do Danny dirty, so this is based on that, takes place either in the middle of s1 and s2, title is "best mistake" by seaway, which I’ll always probably be lowkey mad about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 10:18:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13925082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiouspunk/pseuds/anxiouspunk
Summary: While trying to think up a comeback, Perry gets a first real look at the scenario in front of her. Her best friend wasn’t just sitting on the floor for laughs. She noticed, then, the pale and freckled arm was half way down the dispenser of the vending machine – where it spits out the sugary snacks. And it was angled a very particular way, not twisting with LaF’s body as they shuffled around in their spot.Stuck.Okay, now she’s lost it.LaFontaine watches her sigh deeply, possibly with remorse, and place her fingers over her eyes like she didn’t want to look at what was going on.“Is..is your hand..stuck..in that vending machine?!..”





	wait, you could be my best mistake (that I’ve just been dying to make).

**Author's Note:**

> Long story short, I saw this tumblr post (sapphickaliprasad.tumblr.com/post/170069554981/) and found it so funny I had to make the fic for it. Enjoy!

Perry rushes around the corner, turning to the third floor. She, honestly, in all her experience so far, was expecting something terrible. After all, Lafontaine had just send the most ominious text to her ( _911\. Emergency. Come to c building, 3_ _rd_ _floor_ ). What was it?! A fire? Some kind of plague out break? A creature LaFontaine had kept locked up too long finally had enough of being poked and prodded and broke free? She didn’t know because they refused to respond to the millions of texts she’d sent back to gage if they were alive or not, but what she did know she was that she’s a millimeter away from an anxiety attack.

 

She spots her best friend and partner pretty easily. From far away, it doesn’t _look_ like LaF is in the midst of some kind of catastrophe; no blood, not being eaten alive, not being chased by an experiment or Silas students they’d managed to piss off. In fact, they were just sitting down on the floor, back slouched against the vending machine. 

 

Perry very well loses it. 

 

_If this was some kind of_ _**joke** _ …

 

“LaFontaine!” She roars, stomping forward and getting the puff of red hair look over “What is the meaning of this?!”

 

Despite it looking like they were going to be strangled alive, LaFontaine grins. 

 

“Perr, great! Listen, here’s the thing –”

 

“What is all of this?! You pulled me out half-way through my lecture on eighteenth century poetry I’ll have you know!”

 

LaF only scrunches up their nose “You say that as if that  could at all be interesting.”

 

“What would you know?!”

 

Their brow furrows indignantly “I’ll have you know, I’m the smartest, most skilled Silas student ever – I’d know.” 

 

While trying to think up a comeback, Perry gets a first real look at the scenario in front of her. Her best friend wasn’t just sitting on the floor for laughs. She noticed, then, the pale and freckled arm was half way down the dispenser of the vending machine – where it spits out the sugary snacks. And it was angled a very particular way, not twisting with LaF’s body as they shuffled around in their spot. 

 

Stuck. 

 

Okay,  _ now  _ she’s lost it.

 

LaFontaine watches her sigh deeply, possibly with remorse, and place her fingers over her eyes like she didn’t want to look at what was going on. 

 

“Is..is your hand.. _stuck_..in that vending machine?!..” 

 

“ _Listen_ , I paid for my Snickers, I’m getting my Snickers.” 

 

Perry nearly screams, biting down on the strangled sound as she throws up her hands. Of course.  _ Of course _ .

 

“ _What_ – I just, I, _ugh_ , you just..I can’t –”

 

“I was only trying to help out this clearly evil machine from eating my rightfully deserved candy, but it appears..there were some...uh, mistrials with my plans..” 

 

“Oh, what a surprise!” Perry shouts, eyes bulging “Honestly LaFontaine, why-why didn’t you call _actual_ help, like campus security or something?!” 

 

“Oh right, security – because if they weren’t going to help kidnapped girls being stolen by evil vamps and other vengeful, otherworldly creatures, then they’re _definitely_ going to help one student who stuck their hand down a vending machine.” 

 

“..Well –”

 

“Also, I knew you would’ve come way before any of them could blink.” 

 

Perry huffed shortly. She wouldn’t deny that, well, the professional set-ups were...lacking around here, but she honestly wasn’t sure what LaFontaine was expecting her to do!

 

Instead, she just knelt down and examined the damage. Their arm was pretty much entirely engulfed, the machine biting down midway on their upper arm. Perry wrapped her hands around, and, very gingerly, began pulling – 

 

“Okay _ow_ –”

 

“I’m sorry sweetheart, but you got yourself into this mess!”

 

“Look I’ve already tried pulling, we’re going to – ow Perry, ow ow ow _ow_.” 

 

Perry sighed, dropping her hands “This isn’t working.” 

 

“You think?”

 

“Don’t yell at _me_! You did this to yourself!” 

 

“I’m not – _okay,_ I know, I’m sorry Perr, I just..” 

 

“No matter.” Perry huffs, reaching into her bag “We can’t do this alone – we’re going to need reinforcements.” 

 

She pulls her out her phone, dials quickly and waits anxiously as it rings, thankfully picking up by the third buzz. 

 

“Hello, Laura? Yes, it’s me. Well, it’s just – I’m going to need your help, there’s been a small emergency. No, I’m alright, it’s just LaFontaine...yes, they’re..fine, relatively, I simply – _no_ , no we don’t need weapons, don’t..I only need you to come to the C building, on the third floor. And bring Carmilla. And possibly Danny too. And hurry.”

 

-

 

In retrospect, they both should’ve expected this reaction. Thankfully, Laura was being nice about it, trying to swallow her smile and snorts of laughter. However Danny had started laughing the second she saw the mess, the giantess keeling over. Carmilla wasn’t laughing, but she was wearing the smuggest look possible, which was saying something of her. 

 

“ _This_ , is your emergency..?” Carmilla drawled, grinning away. 

 

“They’re _stuck_!” Perry protests. 

 

“LaF, how..how did this even happen?” Laura squinted at the scene. 

 

“It wasn’t giving me my Snickers, and I paid the appropriate one fifty!” 

 

“Congratulations Einstein,” Carmilla smirked “you’ve _finally_ been outsmarted.”

 

“Alright alright,” Danny sighed once she got over her laughing fit, clasping Carmilla on the shoulder who only glared back “let’s go fangface, see if we can work something out.” 

 

Danny and Carmilla did try, using their collective strength to try and break LaF free. But even the strength of an Amazon and a vampire couldn’t do it. After LaF’s yells became more pained and their arm didn’t move an inch, a frantic Perry shooed them away – very well  _ yanking _ back Carmilla who was still determined in her idea that  _ it had to work at some point  _ and sent her stumbling back into Laura while somewhat startled by Susie Homemaker’s sudden strength – and they left her to nervously fawn over her partner. 

 

“Hey, it’s okay..” LaF leaned up to kiss Perry’s cheek. 

 

“It is _not_ okay LaFontaine – your arm is starting to go _blue!_ ”

 

“Eh, it’s alright – hey, maybe they’ll have to remove this one and I can get a bionic arm!”

 

“What?! No! No bionic arm, I forbid it!”

 

“Maybe we can get a crowbar..” Danny pondered “or like, a saw or something..” 

 

“Now you’re finally speaking my language Lawrence..” 

 

“ _NO!_ ”

 

“Hey, you called us for help Little Miss Domestic.” Carmilla reminded. Perry let her face fall into her hands for what felt like the umpteenth time, trying to think of what they could do now – until Laura suddenly snapped her fingers. 

 

“I’ve got it!”

 

Before anyone could even ask what  _ it _ was, Laura was off running down the hall. Carmilla called after her for what the hell she was doing, but all she yelled back was for them to sit put. 

 

She returned about ten minutes later after having run off to the cafeteria, which was thankfully, in this building. She ran up, a gleaming smile and showing them her bag filled with roughly a hundred little plastic packets of butter. 

 

Which is why, no few minutes later, all four surrounded LaF, sticking their fingers into the yellow molds and slathering it on their entangled arm. Perry, at one point, also remembered she had hand lotion in her bag and used that too, which ended up making for a very odd sensation and aroma of lavender and salty fat. 

 

“..So,” Laura eventually spoke up “do you think this is possibly the weirdest thing we’ve done so far?” 

 

“The worst part is,” Carmilla grumbled, flicking off the yellow globs on her hand “is that it isn’t even against an evil, magic entity. Just a stupid vending machine and an even stupider college student.” 

 

“Hey! You’re looking at one of Silas’s finest here!” LaF glared, after cautiously glancing to their girlfriend when all was silent “..Perr? You going to defend my honour?” 

 

“I would sweetie, if she wasn’t horribly right.” 

 

“See?” 

 

“Love you too Perr. Looking forward to the lecture I’ll be getting tonight.” 

 

“Isn’t that just foreplay to you two anyway?” 

 

Laura kicked Carmilla lightly in the shoe. Danny stifled her laughter. 

 

“...Alright, I think that’s enough.” Perry finally decided, standing back up. Laura followed, while Danny and Carmilla set themselves up again, arms looped under LaF’s shoulders, and went back to pulling. 

 

Perry could only stand by anxiously (thankful for Laura’s comforting hand on her back), yelping at every one of LaF’s strangled noises of pain and reminding them to be careful only for Carmilla to screech back that  _ they could trade places if she wanted _ . It took some effort, a lot of sighs and muffled curses under breath, Laura and Perry biting into their cheeks and the blonde  was sure she was going to need x-rays for how hard Perry was clenching her arm, thinking maybe they had to call it quits again – 

 

Until LaF’s arm comes free with a  _ pop _ and all three come tumbling forward, spilling onto the floor. Watching them grumble and stand back up, Laura let out a breath of relief. 

 

“Well thank god for free butter packets. I think this is my first plan that went off without any –”

 

Perry made some kind of squeaking noise and le a pt forward, throwing her arms tightly around LaFontaine, who was still  finding  their balance as they got up. But LaF still brought up their currently functioning arm to slide over Perry’s waist, smiling briefly as she kissed the corner of their mouth – and losing it quickly when she angrily pinched the shoulder that wasn’t already numb.

 

“ _Ow_ – jesus Perr!”

 

“Well you deserve it! Honestly LaFontaine, what were you thinking?!”

 

“Nothing, clearly.” Carmilla huffed, who was now trying to wipe off her hands on Laura’s shirt “So if you two losers are done, I’m going to go and try to get the butter out from under my nails!”

 

With that, she spins on her heels and stalks off. Laura throws out a “see you guys!” and  says  that she was glad LaF was alright, before quickly running after the broody brunette. 

 

“Thank you!” Perry shouts her appreciation. Danny only shakes her head and clasps LaFontaine warmly on the back.

 

“Well as fun as this has been, there are some pop quizzes that I’ve been ordered to help grade calling my name.”

 

“Of course – thank you so much Danny.” 

 

“No worries. And glad to see you’re okay,” She turns to LaFontaine, throwing in a smile “just...stick to ordering over the counter from now on, alright..?” 

 

“Duly noted.” 

 

Again, another head shake, though good-natured, and then Danny is off on her way down the hall. That left the couple to themselves, staring each other down; Perry’s scalding look and tapping foot, with LaF giving their best attempt at an innocent grin. 

 

“Perr –”

 

“Don’t give me that look. I’m mad at you!” 

 

“You’re always kinda mad at me though.”

 

“God LaFontaine – I don’t know how I’m suppose to keep from going through several different throws of anxiety per day with your ability to get caught in these reckless situations which I then always have to _fix!_ ”

 

“Yeah. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

LaF  continued  grinning at her, in a way that  _ shouldn’t  _ be done by a person in trouble for nearly losing their limb from their own idiocy. 

 

“.. _Do_ elaborate.” 

 

“C’mon Perr, I create messes you love to clean up – that’s the way it’s always been! Like, remember when we were eight and I wanted to try to capture that gardener snake and you had to go get that snake bite kit to patch me up afterwards?” 

 

“Yes, well, I’m not sure what you were expecting after you kept poking it with that stick!”

 

“Or when you had to tow me back to my mom in that wagon we had after I fainted that one time?” 

 

“Because you forgot to wear sunscreen and it was in, like, the middle of August!”

 

“And I guess I’m glad you didn’t let my fourteen-year-old self get pummeled in a fight, even though I still think I should’ve been allowed a swing at that asshole.” 

 

“It wasn’t ethical, even by high school standards.”

 

“He kept calling you names!” 

 

“Well I doubt it matters now since you went and put bugs in his locker anyway, which I’ll still never know how you did.” 

 

“And you never will.” 

 

_ Sigh _ . 

 

“But I guess what’s why I wasn’t kicked out. So see Perr, you love to be my secret saviour.”

 

“….” 

 

“Huh???” LaF held out their arms, still with an overly pleased look their best friend _wasn’t_ pleased with. Perry huffed and stomped her foot.

 

“Fine – but only because you constantly need it!”

 

“..Well, yeah.” LaF shrugged, surprising Perry. They stepped forward and wrapped their fingers around hers, not seeming to mind the slimy residue still there even after she’d furiously wiped off her hands, with a smile tugged up at the sides that was much sweeter.

 

“I think that’s why we kinda need one another..” 

 

Perry waits, soon starting to quietly shake her head. And trying to squash her smile at the same time, though not very successfully. LaF might be the reason for their own undoing, or  _ hers _ too, but despite the mad genius fallouts, it was absolutely true. She needed them, they needed her, and that was the way it always was, and always will be. 

 

“..You’re smiling.” 

 

“Hush.” Perry kisses LaF gently, after taking them by their currently functioning arm “Let’s just get you to the nurse’s office. They haven’t seen us in a while and they’re probably wondering where we’ve been..” 

 

“I was just in there – they re-stalked your favourite strawberry candies, actually.” 

 

“Oh! Really?” 

 

“Yeah. And I’ll even let you have my reward, sympathy doughnut they give you after.” 

 

Perry almost rolled her eyes at LaF’s grin, but just couldn’t, instead smiling back as she squeezed their hand. 

 

“..I love you weirdo.” 

 

“Love you too control freak. Now, if they see that there’s genuine permanent damage to my arm, I think you’ll find that a bionic arm would actually improve –”

 

“Absolutely not.” 

**Author's Note:**

> If that was /at all/ good for you, seriously, there is a button to let me know if you liked it.


End file.
